DBSA Meeting Update

I was planning to log on this morning and tell you all about the wonderful speaker meeting I attended last night, but that will not be the case. Pam Arnold, our scheduled speaker, had car trouble and was unable to make it to the meeting. I think that is the first time we have ever had a speaker cancel at the last minute. We will try to have her come again when she gets a new car.

We had a great meeting even though it was without a speaker. We had some people that were relatively new to the support group. They were such a pleasure to meet. They have a foster child who is a young teen and is bipolar. Most of us know or have heard about the difficulties of raising a teenager, but to raise a bipolar teen that you did not have from day one. This wonderful couple is to be commended. We enjoyed meeting them and sharing our knowledge and experiences with them.

Although we always love our children there are times when we don't really like them. You all know the days I am talking about. When you have heard "I hate you" so many times you are starting to believe it. Those days when the siblings have taken so much abuse that you just want to sit down and cry with them. Sometimes those days come too often and then suddenly there appears that child you know and love. At that moment, when they are once again telling you how much they love you and how sorry they are you know it is all worthwhile. You wouldn't trade that child, with all those problems, for anything in the world. Those are the moments that we need to hold on to and remember.

Our children can not control being bipolar anymore than they could control having cancer. If you are not bipolar and did not pass this disorder on to your child you are lucky in some ways, but out of the loop in others. I have heard from so many people that it is really hard to understand this disorder if you haven't been there. You can try to imagine,but you will probably always fall short. Just know that compassion and understanding are the most important things you can offer. Be there and be a parent, make the rules and stick by them no matter how much you want to give in. Provide that consistency that bipolar kids need so desperately. Take time to try and be a "normal" family. That is all any of us really want anyway, isn't it? Enjoy the time you have with your child because like cancer, mental illness can take your child from you at anytime. Love them now, in all there beauty and ugliness, because you never want to say "If only I would have been a better parent." Step up and be a better parent now. Learn about the disorder your child has and how you can help. Let them know that you accept them as they are and love them flaws and all.