Sunday, October 24, 2004

Children Learn What They Live by: Dorothy Law Nolte

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith
in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world
is a nice place in which to live.


This is one to print and put up on the fridge. We often forget that our children are learning from us and everything we do. The example we set could make a lifetime of difference. We need to think about who we want our children to become and start now to shape their lives before it is too late.
So, the next time the man in the sports car cuts you off, stop and think before you yell obscenities at him. Your children are listening. Pay attention to the words you use. Children learn to do as we do, not as we tell them to do. It is embarrassing when the teacher calls to tell your child said *#^**!! on the playground. Teachers never believe that "we don't speak that way at home." Even if it is true.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Dr. Stanley Lelek , Guest Speaker in November

There are no more new hours in the day, but I am hanging in there. I wanted to let all of you know that you need to mark your calendars for the November 3rd meeting of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Valparaiso. The incredible Dr. Stanley Lelek will be our guest speaker once again. For those or you who are not familiar with the doctor, just trust us that you will love him.

Dr. Lelek is a renowned Drug and Alcohol Counselor and a fabulous therapist. He tells it like it is and answers questions in words everyone can understand. I hope you won't just take my word for it, but come and see why we all love Dr. Lelek so much. DBSA is meeting at the Aled P. Davies Center at 1454 W. Lincoln Way at 6:00 P.M.

We are also holding the Teen/Young Adult meetings on the first and third Wednesdays at the same place, but they have a separate room. I hope the teens will join us for the speaker portion. I feel that they can benefit from Dr. Lelek's wisdom more than anyone.

Friday, October 01, 2004

A School Meeting Nightmare

If anyone can figure out how to add more hours to the day, please let me know. Otherwise please be patient when the content on this site is a little scarce. School is going really well, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and understanding of this new adventure I'm on.

I recently attended a school conference for a seven-year old boy, with the boy’s mother. I was there in the roll of Mental Health Advocate. Those parents who have sat across the table from the "School IEP Committee" will be able to relate to this information. For those of you with bipolar children or who plan to someday have children, all I can say is your time will come. Yes, it can be as bad as people tell you and you really need to be knowledgeable and prepared. I really thought I had seen and heard everything a school could come up with for not providing a bipolar child an education in the "least restrictive environment" as required by law. Well, I found a school whose administration is willing to sink to new lows.

The meeting was not an IEP meeting because this school will not recognize that this child has a disability at all. Even though they have seen the documentation from the doctor that this child is bipolar. He also suffers from some other issues and is unable to grasp the concept of writing, probably due to a disorder called "dysgraphia." The school has tested him by using the Peabody Test (Piat-R). I know you parents were waiting for the rest of the list of the testing done, but that is what the school is basing all of its decisions on. They were unwilling to make appropriate accommodations for this child with a disability and considered him average or above average even though he can not write a sentence that can be read or do the other things a second grader should be able to do. His parents enrolled him in first grade due to his lack of social skills as well as other skills, but had they not insisted he would have been in second grade with no assistance from Special Education.

During the first week of school he had his first emotional break at school. Okay, I hear you parents saying, "that is normal, it will be the first of many, get use to it." You will love this...His mother had forgotten to give the child his meds and took them to the school one hour after he would normally take them. The school stated, in writing, that this was the cause of the bipolar rage they got to witness first hand, even though according to the administration he has no disability, he does not need services, just a mother that will give him his meds on time.

The parents decided to home school the child until an appropriate education plan could be developed. The mother is certified to do this and had done it during the time the child was unable to attend school. This is where it gets good or bad...how about ridiculous!!!
The school principal turned the parents name into the Department of Children and Family Services. The school feels that the child will be unable to receive proper instruction at home because according to the Peabody test and the two weeks he spent in the class room "his current level of academic function is below his intellectual ability...based on this information and our concern for (his) academic growth, we are also forwarding a copy of this letter to the Department of Children and Family Services."

I was shocked beyond belief. During this meeting, I was very concerned about the schools lack of cooperation. They were far more interested in pointing fingers at the parents for the child's behavior. Believing that he was in control and not mentally handicapped. The parents will not be sending him to that school if they decide to try public school again. Perhaps this is what the school had intended the entire time. I think a school administration can see those parents that are not going to push back and know that they won't have to provide services for that child. I know this is not true at all schools. My son has a very good IEP in place, but I really owe that to the research we did and our unwillingness to accept anything less than what he needed to succeed.

The point here, yes, I had a point, is to educate yourself before you meet with the school. "Wrights law" book or website is a great place to start. If your child has two parents both of you should make an effort to attend the meeting with the school. If you are a single parent take a friend or relative with you. You won't feel so out numbered. Never sign anything at the table. Always take it home and give yourself time to think it over, no matter how hard they try to convince you. Call and ask if you have any questions about the documents they have sent with you. It is your child's education on the line and it is worth your full attention, time, and energy no matter how few hours there are in your day.