Thursday, March 03, 2005

Dr. Zemansky Speaks About Teen Suicide

DBSA Valparaiso had the pleasure of having Dr. Mary Zemansky join us on March 2, 2005. She spoke to the group about a growing problem in our society, Teen Suicide. In the last ten years the suicide rate has tripled in the 15-24 year old age group. These teen years sometimes known as the “Years of Invincibility” have teens finding more and more that they are not invincible. Approximately 4,000 teens successfully commit suicide each year, thousands more attempt it. Teens 15-16 years old are most likely to commit suicide. Most attempts take place in the home between 3pm and midnight. Females attempt it more often, but males seem to take more drastic measures that are irreversible.

One of the most common myths about teen suicide is that only teens who are depressed attempt it. This is far from true. Many things prompt teens to come to the conclusion that their life is not worth living. As we all know the teen years are the hardest. Life is so intense during these years. Then with the addition of hormonal changes and peer relations it all mixes together for a tumultuous time for all teens.

Some of the events that can cause a teen to attempt suicide are as follows:
1. Peer pressure
2. Non-acceptance by peers
3. Hormonal changes
4. Loss of significant person in their life.
5. Humiliation from any event and harassment by peers.
6. Legal issues/ in trouble with the law.
7. Alcohol and drug use.
8. Eating disorders.
9. Family history of suicide or mental illness.
These are just some of the issues that could prompt suicide. Teens are as individual as are their reasons and their reactions to life issues.

Any threat of suicide should always be taken seriously. Even if the teen has a history of doing things to get attention, you don’t ever want to ignore a cry for help. It only takes one time of ignoring a threat to loss a child. Some of the signs to be on the look out for are as follows:
1. Previous suicide attempt.
2. Verbal threats
3. Giving away prized possessions.
4. Feeling depressed/hopeless/helpless.
5. Statements such as, “No one will miss me if I am gone.”
6. Sudden and obvious change in behavior or personality.
7. Beginning to use or increase in substance abuse. (This is often a sign that a teen is missing something in their life. They are trying to replace or self-medicate.)
8. Loss of a family member, friend, or pet.

Another myth that should be dispelled is that talking about suicide puts ideas in a persons head. The ideas were already there if you are seeing signs so take the time to talk to your teen. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care. If they are not comfortable talking to you suggest they speak to someone else such as a friend, school counselor, teacher, relative or neighbor. Dr. Zemansky says she often encounters teens that are afraid that if they have thought about suicide they must want to do it and that can be frightening. The truth is many teens have thought about suicide and would not do more than think about it, but they need to know that is normal. No teen is ever a lost cause. They can all be helped even if they really want to die. Don’t ever write off someone as a lost cause. Suicidal thoughts are often treated in an out-patient situation. Teens don’t need to be afraid that if they talk to someone they will be lock away in a hospital somewhere. After the start of medications, teens still need to be closely monitored. Sometimes if a person has been extremely depressed and unable to function after they begin to feel better with the medication they could possible have the energy to commit the act they have been thinking about, but didn’t have the strength to do.

There are protective factors that should be encouraged. Some suggestions are:
1. Support from others; family, friends, teachers, counselors, and relatives.
2. Having someone to talk to.
3. Being in control over stressful life events. During divorce kids need to know they are the number one priority in a parent’s life.
4. Concepts like divorce should be introduced slowly
5. Being spiritually centered. (Doesn’t have to be active in church just have a sense of oneself.)

Most suicidal teens don’t want to die, they want a way out or to escape the emotional pain. Many teens are unaware of the help available. Parents need to remember to listen and not lecture. Teens don’t need to be pushed away by an overpowering, lecturing parent. What they really need is love and understanding. Just let them know that it is okay to talk things out and get help.

For more information about teen suicide look on the web at:
www.teenagesuicide.com www.nami.org or a Google search under teen suicide.

My Inspiration

I would like to tell you about one of the bravest people I know. He is only a child yet he has more character than most adults. I have the honor of knowing this young person because he is my very own son. Though I do not take all the credit for his strength and wisdom; for I don’t think I could ever be so strong. He has taught me to be the willow in the wind. To bend until you think you will break and then stand tall once again.

His young life has never been easy. He has faced adversity, discrimination, and pain, which others can only imagine. Jordan has been chased by his own internal demons throughout his entire young life. The demons have shown him the depths of hell and he has fought and clawed his way back.

He has been terrorized in the night by jackals with the faces of those he loves. He has watched and lived through the terror of Jack the Ripper tearing him limb from limb. I have awoken to his blood curdling screams and known that he had to fight the demons alone. Even as his mother I could only watch and pray that he would wake and survive the pain and the horrors of the night. Each morning I am surprised to see that little angelic face emerge freshly washed and ready for yet another day of the life he has been dealt.

School for Jordan is like a walk across a bed of hot coals; never knowing what the outcome will be. His once lightening quick mind is dulled by the drugs that keep him alive. The few friends that he has shy away when the demons show their faces. The teachers seldom know that he has been up all night, terrified to sleep, or unable to find internal peace. Jordan is punished for the things he does instead of praised for his accomplishments and the person he is.

Jordan does not hear me as I scream at God about the unfairness of his life. He would tell me the words that he has heard me repeat so often; “God does not give us more than we can handle.” He is my strength and inspiration to go on and to fight for the rights he and every child deserve.

My son deserves to be understood and accepted as the bright and handsome boy that he is. He hides the demons so well, but when they escape and his soul is in turmoil the world can not understand. The world does not want to understand. Sometimes even I don’t understand. How could this beautiful child with his whole life ahead of him want nothing more than to die some days? To stop battling the demons and just accept the peace that only death can bring. Yet even as a child he thinks of his family not himself and he continues to struggle on, to save the rest of us from the pain.

This is my son, Jordan, which God has blessed me with and I pray that I will keep; for I need his strength as much as he needs mine. Most of all I need his love and the gentle hand that brushes away my tears and the sweet voice that quietly whispers, “God does not give us more than we can handle, Mom.”